Forty-four million people have now read the impact statement from the young woman that rapist Brock Turner assaulted.  I am one of the 44 million.  The story has blown up in the news around the nation and across the world, and it isn’t going away.  I’m asking myself why.

I’ve read that the crime of rape is a common occurrence.  More common than we would like to admit.   What is it about this rape by rapist Brock Turner that has caused the current public outrage? What was it about this rape that had me reading all the news articles about rapist Brock Turner that I could find?  Why am I so upset at another news story?

Was it the moving impact statement that the assaulted young woman read to rapist Brock Turner at his sentencing?  Was it the judge’s ridiculously short sentence –6 months?  More than one million people have signed a petition to recall this judge.  I signed.

Was it the rapist’s father’s callous remarks that his son, rapist Brock Turner didn’t deserve jail time for 20 minutes of action?  Or rapist Brock Turner’s mother’s letter to the judge asking him not to send her son rapist Brock Turner to jail under any circumstances, because it would damage his life?

This story struck a nerve with me because I am a woman, I am a mother of a son, and of a daughter.   I am Nana to two precious granddaughters and I don’t want my children or my grandchildren to be part of a world that says abusing and assaulting anyone is excusable–not under any circumstances.

This story struck a nerve because I saw how society treated this woman, how society blames the woman even in the face of clear evidence that rapist Brock Turner was assaulting an unconscious woman.   This story struck a nerve with me because I remembered that it could have happened to me.

I was at home alone about midnight listening to cool jazz on the radio.   Miles Davis.   The lights in the house were on –the rest of the neighborhood was in darkness, everybody else must have gone to bed. I heard a car pull up and the familiar beeping of a car horn that friends in the Caribbean use to announce their arrival, regardless of the hour.  I  went to the window to see who was dropping by.  It was Bob, a good friend an architect whose wife was my best friend.  I was in my late 20’s, recently divorced and lived alone with my three year old son.  Bob had been helpful to me during my search for a new place to live.  He turned his engine off and parked his car as I went to open the front door.  He came in with two male friends.

It never crossed my mind not to let them in.  But I soon realized what a colossal mistake I had made.  I could smell the alcohol on their breath.  I didn’t drink alcohol.  I learned early that alcohol didn’t like me.  One summer night after an afternoon and evening of drinking Beaujolais and partying, I went to sleep and my bed with me in it, suddenly bolted upright.  My bed and I spent all night in that upright position.  I learned then that alcohol didn’t like me, and I didn’t like what it did to me, so I don’t drink.

Bob’s two friends sat on the floor opposite Bob and me just watching like jungle animals sizing up their prey.   They didn’t move an inch.  They just watched.  On the other side of the room, I sat in an arm chair, with Bob seated next to me on the floor.  His hands were around one of my ankles.  I tried to move but he tightened his grip.

“You’re the one I should have married.  I love you.” he mumbled tightening his hold on my ankle even more.

I did not know what to do.  I wasn’t drunk.  I knew I was in danger, from all three of them.  “Cut it out Bob, I’m going to call your wife.”

I don’t know how but I made it to the telephone –this was long before cell phones –and I called a male friend who came over.  They left when his car pulled up.

It would have been my fault.  It would have been the woman’s fault.  Who the hell would I even have told?  Which judge?   Six months?  Rapist Brock Turner got six months more than Bob and his friends would have gotten.  Nothing much has changed in forty years.  I’m glad that we have FaceBook and Twitter and Social Media to help hold rapist Brock Turner and his father and his mother and this biased judge accountable for what happens to women everywhere everyday.